I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
