You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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