Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
