Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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