That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
