the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
