i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
