I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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