Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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