4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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