So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
