Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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