Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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