I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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