OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
