there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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