Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
