is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
