..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
