Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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