she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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