I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
