So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Drunk is a universal language darling
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