omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
