i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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