he puts the penis in happiness.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Randomize
