the condom got lost in my hair
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Green mimosas i think yes
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
