Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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