Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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