sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
