Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
