3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
