i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I am naked and annoyed.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
