There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
