I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
