Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
