Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
