I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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