its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I understand Curling. That high.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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