You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize