The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
