So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
