Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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