I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
