This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
