He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
