My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize