I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
