I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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