your parents love me but you hate me
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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