Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
