your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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