I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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