We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
