I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
