I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
