I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
i think im in europe. pls send help
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
