first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
