if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
